Give Up Defining Yourself

“Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” ― Eckhart Tolle

I read this today, in the EXACT moment I needed to. I struggle with this in many ways which is why this blog was born. Just when I think maybe, just maybe I have it together… someone or something comes along that makes those voices in my head scream, 

“See, I told you so. Not good enough. Something MUST be wrong with you!”

I keep saying I’m done with that. But it keeps creeping up. WHY?  Because all along I thought that it was THEM defining me, making me feel bad about myself. I distance myself from them (whoever they are at the moment). I isolate myself and end up compounding the problem and feeling more defeated and lonely than before. But guess what? 

It isn’t them doing this to me. I have accepted the limits put out there by others in my life and, let’s face it by society.  Too heavy, too honest, too nice, too mean, too undisciplined, too strict…whatever it is, I accept it and keep defining myself by standards that others set. I am choosing to let that be who I think I am because they must be right. Why else would this keep happening? 

But deep down inside… I know it’s not true! 

I’ve been conditioned to be agreeable, to not make waves, to not say how I REALLY FEEL…because it makes other’s uncomfortable and I end up getting the back lash of their resentment for my authenticity. Now in in my mind, I become wrong when people aren’t happy, because I’m the one that SPOKE UP. It’s a hard switch to flip, to say instead, 

“Hey, this is not my problem.  I always have choices. I’m choosing to be true to myself and not make excuses for other’s inability to accept me for who I am. I am choosing to be happy and not waste my time trying to mold myself into any definition.”

We don’t need a definition in order to be, we already ARE. We cannot lose what we already ARE! It says so right there in black and white.  So what are you? Fat…FIT…Fabulous?

Go back and read our first post if you are stuck in a negative thinking pattern. 

What needs defining is not YOU. It’s the way you think about YOU.

• ·         Decide that you are the best you there is to offer, already, RIGHT NOW! (FAT)

• ·         Decide that you are GOOD ENOUGH, already, RIGHT NOW, just exactly who you are! (FIT)

• ·         Decide that you are always FABULOUS…no matter how anyone else tries to define you!

Only then will you be truly able to make choices based on what will work for you to change what you decide needs changing.  

Here’s to being the most fat, fit, & fab we can be!