THE DAY

Today was the day. You know THE DAY.  The day we eat no sugar, exercise 12 straight hours.  OK, at least 2… and have the energy and emotional attitude to handle any temptation that comes our way. This was the day I was going to change myself again, another beginning of one more journey to that elusive happy place.  You know that place in your head where all those dreams come true?  

The place you will start doing things because you finally haven't a single pimple; you’ve lost those extra 75 pounds;  and you have the most remarkable hair that actually bounces like the model’s in commercials; the place where everything you do is good enough and makes you feel like you belong.  The day you finally realize you are now ready… ready to really live the life you’ve always wanted and be the person you really ought to be. 

This has been countless days for us for the past 20 + years.  But TODAY… today was different. It was the day I arrived at place I didn't know I was headed and I was destined not to walk alone, but with my sister.   We had no idea until it appeared right in front of us and you’re invited!  No one should have to be in this place alone.  

Today I learned that we aren’t hiding anymore. 

Hide you say??  Oh yes, hiding.  If hide and seek was an Olympic sport, we’d be GOLD medalists.  We would reign supreme, if we dared show up to stand in the spot and accept the honor.  Of course, before now I would have forfeited the prize because… Hey!  I was very busy hiding!  How does one hide and have 6 children, church responsibilities, participate in school activities and the like?  It’s not so easy...but it can be done!  

First, you never leave your house without full make -up and hair done. Because surely no one will notice all your short comings if you have good hair and great make up.  Somehow those flaws all disappear, even the ones the hair a d make-up don’t’ touch.   Second, wear something big and drapey.  Is drapey even a word???  We think it is.  

That way people just might think that you’re just wearing big clothes.  You know the duck and weave, mesmerize, dazzle, keep them guessing and confused.  Third, you avoid leaving the house if at all possible.  Avoid cameras… we just can't have any of this documented! Avoid anyone who knew you from BEFORE.

 

And finally, for us the best technique for hiding… BE FUNNY.  Oh yes, be very funny and self-deprecating. Be very well aware of all your flaws so you can throw out the first blow, and avoid tears or hurt feelings. And when it’s obvious you don’t measure up, well at least you’re funny!  This friends, is sooooo not living. Hiding takes a lot of work and quite frankly it is exhausting!  

So how was today different?  Well it started like this..........

I had errands to run but more importantly I had a book to finish!  Seriously.  I was only going to read one more chapter then jump into the shower.  Alas, I finished the very last chapter.  Time had slipped through my fingers like water.  I had an important errand to get done and still had to be back in time to start picking up kids from the bus stop.  What was I going to do?  

As I was thinking of how to get it all done now, since I didn’t’ have to really get ready, I looked at my darling 4 year old little girl.  She was ready to go.  She did her own hair side ponytail style akin to the 80's.  She put on a pink lace and sparkly skirt, accompanied by a very, very, yellow shirt that in my honest opinion did not match!  

She adorned her pink shiny tap shoes and a plaid lime green hair ribbon then announced something was missing! She then found just the thing. A Captain Jack Sparrow wig and hat.  Yep. Remarkable. Who leaves the house looking like an 80’s Valley Girl Jack Sparrow and feels good about it???  My 4 year old does.

For me, a shower was completely out but the hair wasn't so bad.  I decided to forgo makeup (can this really be happening?) and put on a cute t-shirt with my yoga pants, matching flip flops and the best sunglasses!  Sunglasses have magical powers.  I can seriously understand why all of Hollywood is obsessed. They seem like your very own cloaking device! Is this really news to anyone else but me?  But seriously, sunglasses gave me the confidence to leave the house knowing I didn't have my hiding tools.

 

My little girl said, "Momma, we should do Lunch cause we look good!"  Really, we look good???  I glanced in the mirror at the sight we must be and decided that 4 year olds have enchanted eyesight cause good is not what I saw.  I did take her to lunch.   We didn't go in.  I went through the drive through and parked in the parking lot. 

I said today was a new day.  I did not say I had opened a can of courage yet!

 

We sat in that parking lot listening to Barbie songs and eating our Chik-Fil-A when I noticed a truck pulling in beside us.  I had no idea who or what was inside that truck.  The only thought occupying my mind was "Make no eye contact!  You know that whoever is in that truck is going to think that you, of all people, should NOT be eating a  Chik-Fil-A sandwich."  

I wanted to hide!  I needed that cloaking device to work this very instant!  I didn't have make-up on or cover-up for the current break out I am sporting.  UUUGGHHH!!! What had I done????  What should I do?  Well of course, be rational, be calm, look like you are on an important call or engrossed in a very interesting text.  Really… Tanya?  

At that moment I looked up.  In front of me was a funeral procession.  My eyes were transfixed on the cars filing by.  I just couldn't tear my gaze away.   I felt this tug in my heart and an ache for people I did not know.  The hearst passed followed by the limousine carrying the loved ones.  Through the barely tinted windows were faces of people wearing expressions of gnawing sorrow. They displayed deep sadness of family members left with a gaping hole in their hearts.  

In my heart and mind I could hear a voice saying, "Tanya, they would give anything to have another moment in time, to be sitting with their daughter or son and eating a sandwich.  They would not want to hide from any memories they could still make."  

Ironically, a Barbie song came on just then.  Trust me; a chubby girl taking advice from Barbie is, well hilarious!  But poignant all the same.  The words are as follows:

“There is a place you can go, where your heart is free.  There's a rhythm that's right for your soul.  Take a breath, find your courage and make the leap, because your feet always know where to go. There's a beauty already inside of you.  There's a difference that only you'll make.  Every place that you spin brings you somewhere new, finding hope every step that you take. Suddenly sparkling bright making a magical light you will shine. Sisters are there by your side, love will be your guide. And you dance and you dance in an endless flow in the grace of a perfect design. Stepping out of the dark and into the glow and the whole world will see when you shine. You can shine.”

I took off my sunglasses and turned up the music.  We sang at the top of our lungs!  We ate our lunch. We smiled and waved at the older guy in that truck.  We laughed and we laughed and then that little 4 year old voice said, "Momma I love being with you and someday when I growed up and be a momma too, I am gonna be just like you. Do you think I will be pretty too?" 

Oh yes my little one!  Because we DO shine!!!

So what say you?  Take a breath. Find your courage and take a leap with us.  Because the happy place is in living, in being good enough, in loving and enjoying the moments, and NEVER… NEVER… hiding from making memories! You’re only given THIS life to live. Who we are is more about our character, than our physical abilities.

Health is not how one measures the worth of a soul. Our greatest need as human beings is to be connected. When we stop trying to be connected, because it hurts too much, we lose touch with the part of humanity that NEEDS other people. Where ever you are on your journey through life, you need to know that being fit simply means BEING GOOD ENOUGH!  Look at fat, as the RICHEST part of you. If you feel you need to share your wealth, then stick with us to find fun ways  that embraces who You are…and allows you to shine…and to do it! 

Fabulous! We’re glad you’re here. Let’s redefine what needs to be redefined and stop worrying about defining who we are. Let’s embrace the characters we are and build on the strengths we have. Let’s share  with each other and connect with that part of humanity that needs US…the fat, fit and fab! 

Whoever you are; Where ever you are. You ARE. And that’s ENOUGH.